My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
