He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
