if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
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