Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
