My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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