she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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