No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize