Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
