i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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