his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
