are you so shy because you have an std?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
