Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
