Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Found the puke drawer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
