worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
