Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
