Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize