i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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