Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
smell my finger.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
