The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
