One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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