This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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