I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
