Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
