I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
