Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
