Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize