This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
