SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
