singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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