It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize