maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
