She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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