My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
