it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
