Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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