My Higher Power is John Stamos
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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