champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
