do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
