Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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