Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
