you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
