if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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