I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
