if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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