Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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