I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
