She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
