I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
