My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
