Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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