I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
