i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i love accidental penises.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize