i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How's work?
Spinning.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
