At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
