when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
