We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
