i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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