I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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