a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
