I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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