His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
