dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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