I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
