i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
