she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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