His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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