No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
