You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
