Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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