This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
