So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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