is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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