Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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